The Worry Box That Can Help You Worry Less

Do you have a worry box? Perhaps you've never really thought about it. Did you know that you could utilize the idea of a worry box to help you worry less? The Bible tells us to not worry about anything, but instead to pray about everything. Philippians 4:6 says, "Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." Praying about everything and offering our needs up to God can become a habit if we work on it. But then after that is when the worry box kicks in. We pray about the issue, but then continue to think and worry about it once we've said "amen" and gone on with our day. The battle is not in telling God about our needs, the battle is in leaving them with him.

 

I first became aware of the idea of a worry box when my husband and I were separated and he was in a relationship with another woman. After he moved out, I was suddenly on my own every day and night with our three small children. The hurt and worry were at an all time high and I realized how easily I could get swallowed up by it all. I began a habit every night, as the children slept in their room and I was heading to bed, of kneeling down on the floor outside their door and cupping my hands together as I began to pray. I would mentally put my children and my marriage and my heart and my sanity in my hands and lift them up over my head. I prayerfully surrendered everything in my hands up to God. Night after night I would do this. I imagined myself putting all of the shattered pieces of my life into my hands and then giving them all to God, asking him to put them back together. I would go to bed with a true and deep peace that God was in control and that I could trust him with literally every aspect of my life. I would sleep in peace and begin a new day in the morning. However, as my day wore on I found myself thinking and dwelling on my situation and I would feel the vice grip of fear wrap around my heart and mind. I was offering everything up to God in the evening, but then taking it back every morning. I knew I could not continue in this pattern. So, I began to utilize a worry box. Whenever I would catch myself worrying about my marriage or thinking about how broken my heart was or trying to figure out what I was going to do if my husband did file for divorce, I would stop myself. I would mentally picture a cardboard box, imagine myself putting everything inside of it, closing the top, and handing it up to God. I would then walk away into the rest of my day. I often did this many times a day, every day. Sometimes I would suddenly realize that at some point I had quietly taken the box back from God and opened it, sadly fishing through its contents without even realizing it. Other times, in my anger, I would grab the box and rip open the top, pouring the hurt out on the floor so it would mix with my tears and remind God what was going on in my life. But then I would always box it back up and surrender it back to God, because I knew that he was the only one with hands big enough to handle it all. That worry box was the only way I was able to get through those days and months without being completely consumed by worry and fear. It was a simple concept that had a profound impact on my every day.

I still utilize a worry box, though it isn't quite as beaten and battered as that first worry box. The beautiful thing about it being an imaginary box is that it can go anywhere with me. Sometimes I'm better at using it than others, but a worry box helps me remember that God is in control and that surrendering my worry-inducing situations to him daily and hourly will do more to help me walk through them than worrying about them. And continually boxing up my worries and fears and surrendering them to God is the only way I can fully live out Philippians 4:6.    

Are you walking through a difficult situation or struggle with worry in your life? Consider using a worry box. Let me know in the comments if you do and I will pray for you that it will be as helpful for you as it is for me.  

Being of Noble Character

Proverbs 12:4 "A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones."

Decay in the bones slowly and painfully eats away at you until you are left completely and utterly disabled, defeated, and in constant discomfort. It is not a surprise, then, that the Bible uses this analogy to describe the effect on a husband who has a disgraceful wife. In real life terms, this is the wife who is constantly harping at or belittling her husband. The wife makes a disrespectful or snooty comment, and there is an unmistakable look on her husband's face of disbelief (did you really just say that?), discouragement (do you really think I'm as stupid or incapable as you came across?), and pain (wow, that hurt!). When this happens, he may initially stand up for himself by arguing back or by telling her that he doesn't appreciate the way she was talking to him. Usually, though, this just makes her more angry and verbal, unless she has learned to control her tongue. 

Over time, the husband realizes that nothing he can say will help, and he stops trying to protect himself against her words. This is the husband who "stonewalls" when his wife wants to have a "discussion" about something that is bothering her. He has lost the energy and the desire to even try because he knows how it will end - with him feeling belittled, disrespected, and defeated. This used to played out in my own marriage. I used to have horrible control of my tongue and would make snarky, cynical comments without even considering or caring how they made my husband feel. I was too caught up in how I was feeling in the moment to consider him. Fortunately for both of us, I was forced to face how I was treating him. I took a good look at how I was using my words and my feelings and realized that they were not in line with how the Bible calls me to act (towards my husband and people in general). Once my husband felt free to express how he had been feeling without the threat of retaliatory words (I have at times literally had to force my mouth to stay shut), he was able to tell me how I had been making him feel. It's ironic, but I had always wanted him to be the strong, dependable leader of our home, but I was creating the opposite with my words.

Recently, I was struggling a bit emotionally and briefly lost control of my tongue a few times. I can still see it in my mind: the look of disbelief in his eyes, the slight lowering of his shoulders, the almost imperceptible sigh and shake of his head. I knew I had crossed the line, and I should have apologized. Unfortunately, I didn't. Later on in the car, he was a little quiet. Finally, he said, "Can I be honest with you about something?" Immediately and impulsively, my defenses went up. But, I pushed it back down and said, "Yes." He went on, "I have felt a little disrespected by some of your comments lately." Again came up the ire along with, "well, I've been tired, stressed, grumpy..." but I swallowed it back down and said, "I know, and I'm sorry for treating you like that." It wasn't a fun conversation for either of us, but it was necessary. He was able to be real with me without getting ripped apart, and I was reminded that I need to keep my temper in check and really pay attention to how I am making him feel with my words. 

So, then, what does it look like to have a noble character? Ruth was described in the Bible as being a woman of noble character. Ruth 3:11 "All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character." Ruth's story is a beautiful one to study. She experienced the pain of losing her husband and her father-in-law, of having nothing and no one but her mother-in-law (who wanted to leave Ruth's town to go back to the town she and her deceased husband and sons came from), facing the unknown of going with her mother-in-law to a town and religion she didn't know, and finally redemption. Through it all, she exuded a character that became known by everyone around as being noble and honorable. Ruth was fiercely devoted. Even when it was tough and the easy thing to do would have been to go back to her father's house, Ruth remained faithful by staying with her mother-in-law. Naomi even tried to convince Ruth to leave her, but Ruth said, "Don't urge me to leave you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God..." (1:16). Ruth was also humble. When she and Naomi arrived, Ruth immediately began doing what she could so that she and Naomi would have food to eat. At Naomi's instruction, Ruth went into the field of a man named Boaz and began to glean what she could from the ground behind the workers who were harvesting Boaz's barley. This is the position of a beggar, although it didn't stop Ruth. Ruth was a hard worker. In response to Boaz inquiring about Ruth, one of his men said, "she went into the field and has worked steadily from morning till now, except for a short rest in the shelter" (2:7). Finally, Ruth's reputation preceded her. She was a foreigner, so people were naturally going to be curious of her. She was watched and was found to be an extraordinary woman. Boaz was both kind and gracious to her. When Boaz and Ruth were finally able to sit together, she asked him why she had found such favor in his eyes. He responded, "I've been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law...May the Lord repay you for what you have done: (2: 10, 11). And God did repay Ruth, for she was in the maternal line of Kind David!

A man who has a wife like that is rich in blessing. I want to be that kind of wife! Neither women or men are perfect, but if we each try to mold and shape our character to be more noble, we will become blessings to our spouses, and we will make them want to stand tall, proud and strong!


Happy to link up with A Fireman's Wife, DIY Daddy, Traffic Jam Weekend, Blogger's Pit Stop, and Oh My Heartsie Girl.